Miles' birth story

Okay so some of you might not be into the whole birth story details but I really want to write this down so I can read it to him later.

We were lucky enough to be followed by a midwife and I got to have my all natural labor and delivery like I wanted. I'm incredibly proud of myself for accomplishing my dream birth. So here it is...

It starts on November 6th, 2014 at 12:30 am. I was 39 weeks and 5 days along, nothing felt out of the ordinary, I think I even went shopping the day before. So at 12:30 ish Aaron and I are getting ready for bed when I go to the bathroom to find that I'm starting to lose my mucus plug. This made me a bit nervous as in that moment I realized things were happening!! I quickly told Aaron who told me to relax, that it could take quite some times before anything else started to happen. Well yeah he was right, it COULD take some time but it didn't. Shortly after we went to bed and as I layed down I felt a "pop" and a little gush of fluid. Yep that was my water breaking. At that point I decided to inform my midwife by email. We went to bed to relax since the first part of labor is often quite long. Aaron slept while I anxiously tried to sleep. I realized i wasn't gonna get much sleep as the contractions started. At first they were quite mild but I had no idea just how painful they would become so to me they were strong. Funny! At around 5 am I told Aaron we were getting up and he was not going to work that day. The contractions started to intensify a bit. At around 8 am after not receiving word from my midwife, I decided to call and leave her a message. I got a call back from my secondary midwife as the primary was already busy with a birth. The secondary midwife would be the one to deliver our baby. We had met her a few times and I liked her so I was happy with that. When we spoke she told me I should stay home and try to wait it out. I tried to have breakfast but nothing I ate stayed with me. 

We stayed home and tried to relax and work through the contractions. At around 1pm I told Aaron I was in a lot of pain and we should call the midwife. My contractions were a bit closer together so I though things were progressing. The midwife told us to come in to get checked out. The drive to the clinic was absolutely terrible. Considering that sitting down was very painful, the bumpy ride sure didn't help. I told Aaron to stop on the way to get me a Mars bar! I was STARVING!!! I remember being in contractions in the car while he went inside the gas station to get me a king size one. What was I thinking! (That also didn't stick, coming back up did not taste as good as going down for sure!) When we got there we brought all our stuff in and the midwife checked me. She told me I was not very far along, only 1cm dilated. I was crushed! I felt like I had been doing this for ever now and something should have happened. She told us we should head back home and try to wait it out. She recommended I take a nice warm bath and try to sleep. It turned out to be a pretty good idea since I finally had a bit of a break in contractions and was able to sleep in between them. I also spent a great deal of time in the bath. I'm not even sure about how long I was in there.  Believe my mother in law was there at some point. She came to check up on us and brought us sports drinks since I could not keep any food down, I needed hydration and electrolytes. 

At this point, the time starts to get fuzzy. The contractions picked back up and I was in a lot of pain! The only position comfortable was standing up which was getting exhausting. I was hanging on Aaron's neck during my contractions. Poor guy ended up with some back and neck pain from it. We called the midwife again and she told us we could come in if we wanted to. I was not looking forward to that car ride! She checked me as soon as we got there and sadly I had not progressed a lot. I was only at about 2 or 3 centimetres dilated.  She said we could stay, so as to not drive that aweful road again!  

I think she went off to go do some work, I'm not too sure. I was so concentrated on my contractions that there could have been ten more people in the room and I don't think I would have noticed. It started to get dark so we were coming into the evening. I still had not eaten anything. I was even having a hard time keeping water down. This made me feel very weak.

After what I can only think was a couple of hours, the midwife checked me again. That was very painful. She told me I was now 8 centimetres! Thank goodness! I knew at that point that I was in the final stretch before pushing! I was so relieved. I was so afraid she would say I was still not very far along. I spent the next little while standing through my contractions until she asked if I wanted to go in the bath. Yes please!! The water made me feel so good. I floated there for what seems like and eternity. Aaron said I even drifted off to sleep. I'm not too sure about that. All I know is that the contractions were at their strongest and that's when the mountain analogy hit me. Every contraction felt like I was climbing a mountain with a hidden peak. I could slowly feel it coming on and when I did I would say "no no no no no!". It would then start the get so bad I could no longer talk. I was contorting my back and my entire body was tensing up, which I  realized after was such a bad thing to do as it made me sore for days. As if there wasn't enough to be sore about. 

After a bit of time in the water, the midwife suggested that I get out and try the exercise ball on the bed. I was on my knees with my upper body on the ball. At some point she asked me if I was pushing. I said I think so. I wasn't sure. Seems like my body was just doing it on its own. She looked at me and said I was definitely pushing and that if it made it better I should continue, that I was probably at that stage. I had heard that pushing helped to ease the contraction pain, it was very true for me. While I was pushing she checked me and said I was ready. She told me I could stay in the bed or go back to the bath. I decided I wanted to go back to the water. It had never really been a firm plan to deliver in the water but at that point it seemed like the best idea ever. I started down in a sort of owl position i guess and was really comfortable but the midwife told me i had to be laying  down more so that she could have access. That's when i started pushing a lot. The midwife checked on the baby in between contactions and pushes to make sure he was doing okay. At first when i pushed, the midwife said i was not pushing right. When i finally started pushing properly, things really picked up. Without even knowing it, the baby was really engaged and before i knew it, she told me she could see hair! She got Aaron to touch the baby's head. She asked if i wanted to but i was in my head, i was completely concentrated and i was not sure i wanted to be side tracked. I now regret not feeling his head, its something i will do next time for sure! 

The worse part came next. Crowning! Holy Hell!! That ring of fire is right! Of course you need to push with contractions, well once he was crowning I stopped having contractions for what seemed like an eternity!! Finally I had a contraction and with one long push his head was out. It felt so relieving. The midwife checked for a cord around the neck and that stung like crazy! One final push and his shoulders were out. Aaron grabbed him and pulled him out in one swoop. He was born at 2:06 am on November 7th at 8 pounds 1 ounce and 20.5 inches. He was born calmly into the water. Will be a swimmer like his daddy! 

Aaron placed him on my chest. He was really quiet. I wasn't worried, he was looking at us. They put a towel on him and a stinky hat too. The smell of that hat will forever stay with me. I'm a bit annoyed that this smell was part of my experience because I really didn't like it.  I ended up asking them to remove the hat. At this point we still didn't know if baby was a boy or girl. I asked the midwife and she said we had to find out together.  Before we could lift up the blanket to see, I picked him up and lifted him closer to my face. When I did so I put my hand under his bum. Oh! I said! It's a boy!! Girls don't have those! I was so happy! I sorta knew it all along. Aaron cut the cord and I birthed the placenta. Aaron did some skin to skin while I was helped out of the tub. I shook all over! 

I was then taken to the bed to cuddle my new sweetheart and get fixed up. We took our first family nap. It was perfect. He was perfect. I didn't sleep much. I was too busy admiring him. They brought us fruit and yogurt, all I wanted was a huge bagel or something filling! I texted everyone I could to announce his birth. We left the birting center at around 11 that morning, it snowed. The first snow of the winter!! 

The whole experience was actually wonderful. It hurt like hell, and I'm not exaggerating here. Like. Hell! But it was a good birth, no complications, textbook really. It took a total of about 26 hours, and 7 of active labour. Looking back now I feel like I could do it any day again. Having a midwife follow up was definitely the way to go and we will definetly do it again. 

I though for sure I would cry after he was born but I was still stunned! All I could say was "omg, I just had a baby!"

 

Sadly the pictures did not turn out very good because the light was very low and we didn't want to use the flash.

Mastering the art of breastfeeding!

I'm not there yet! No, that's for sure. There's a book called "The womanly art of breastfeeding"... They aren't kidding! It takes time to become a master. Maybe I should have read the book. 

Now this is going to be another one of my PSA blog posts because I feel like many women go into it naively, I know I did. I was aware that some women have a hard time breastfeeding but I thought I was not going to be one of those women. Wrong!! 

So first off my problems started right as Miles  was born. He did not latch on within the first couple of hours after his birth. I was told it was okay. That some babies are tired and need to rest first. Ok, fair enough. The issue is that because he wouldn't latch on, we went home not really knowing what his latching on looked like. Thankfully with a midwife follow up, she was at our house a few hours later to see how we were doing. At first we though he was latching on because he was sucking and swallowing but then the midwife noticed he was swallowing too much. Basically he was sucking his tongue and swallowing his saliva. No good. We worked long and hard to get a good latch. He ended up hurting me and needing to be fed colostrum with a spoon. Miles was also jaundiced so it was extra important that he get a good amount to drink to help elimate the jaundice. For those first few days we had the midwives coming to our place and giving us tips and tricks and game plans. Boy am I ever so grateful! We were always calling on the midwife, sometimes in tears to get help because it just wasn't working. 

Throughout the next 6 weeks we had a tongue tie cut on him, we went to see  several lactation consultants and ended up renting a hospital grade breast pump. I pumped every 3 hours day and night and Aaron fed him the pumped milk with a tube attached to his finger. It was a rough couple of weeks. Miles also went to see a chiropractor that helped him to work out some tensions he had. When he finally started to eat full time on the breast I started going to the breastfeeding clinics, which I still attend once in a while, and met other moms in similar situations. The support of other moms and the lactation consultant was invaluable. I also remember going to my midwife appintments and having a bunch of different staff who had helped us along the way come and check up on us and alway encourage us. I felt so validated when my midwife told me it was okay to be sick of it, that I was doing more than most nursing moms have to do to feed my child. She said it wouldn't always be so hard and one day I would be nursing because at the moment all I was doing was breastfeeding, that I would know what nursing is one day, i would just feel it. And I get it. To me nursing is this bond I'm getting with my child. I'm not gonna say we are always nursing because it's still rough at times but at least now I know the difference. There should be a reunion with the midwifery clinic soon and I can't wait to go and tell them about our progress! 

I'm so very glad I pushed through. Yes I recognize that it is hard and sometimes for your own sanity you just have to feed your child the less painful way and if that's formula, then all the power to you. I do however believe that most woman can breastfeed (not gonna say all because some women do have medical issue that prevent them from breastfeeding), it's just a matter of working at it, but I know that everyone has their limits, and that's okay too. Every drop of breastmilk your child has gotten is worth it. A little is better than none!  I was just too dang pig headed to give up on my nursing dreams. I'm happy to say Miles has only had breastmilk, not a drop of formula. Sometimes I feel bad when I say this because I really would hate for someone to think I'm formula shaming them but honestly, I worked my little butt if to accomplish this and i think I deserve to marvel in it! 

Now Miles drinks about 8 times a day and is putting on weight steadily. I still worry that he gets enough as his nursing patterns change. I don't think the worry ever goes away. Sometimes it's hard knowing that he requires me to be present always, that I can't simply walk away and leave him to have a bottle with his daddy (although I do have some frozen milk). The logistics of having to pump the missed feeding is just annoying to me for now. But in a way i'm happy I get to be the only one who can provide his nourishment. We only have them so little for a short while, I'll take it! 

Look at his milk drunk face! 

Now just let me explain....

having a baby is hard work! There! All the explanation one should need as to why I have not updated this blog in well... Almost 4 months I think! I can't even take the time to go see when I last posted, this should give you an indication of just how little time I have on my hands!

First off, hi! It's been a while. How have you been? Us? Marvellous! I can't even begin to describe how much I love my life with my little guy. And big guy too. I love that I get to have "my boys"!

So I figured, if my phone doesn't crap out on me while I type this, I could try and update the blog from my phone while my little chub sleeps on me, because yes, he hardly ever naps any other way, no that I haven't tried! So here we are. Almost 4 months old, a curious, lively, sweet little boy inhabits my home, my heart and my head! He is doing great and so are we. We love and dote on him constantly! He is doing good on weight and lenght gain which reassures my breastfeeding mommy heart.

It's been a struggle to get to where we are in our nursing/breastfeeding relationship, and it's not perfect. I think I should take the time to do a separate post for breastfeeding and then another to tel the tale of this birth!

For now I'll just share with you how great he is and how wonderful he makes me feel even with the sleep deprevation. Miles loves to grab toys and ferociously swing them around, he's a major talker, he's loves to get his diaper changed, he's learning to love baths now that he can splash around, he's a little smile monster and he loves music, and even dances to mommy singing (which lets face it is not very good!). But most of all, he makes his momma smile, even cry sometimes she loves him so! Sometimes in his sleep I catch myself just looking at him, taking in the sweetness in the quiet of the room. I want to remember this forever! Time is already flying by, it feels like just yesterday I had a newborn and now he's on his way to sitting up and rolling over!! I can't believe it. It's not always rainbows, it gets though when he's crabby, tired or pulling on my nipples but I would not trade it for the world.

I've been taking pictures of him monthly to track his growth during this first year. Just like for my pregnancy, it will be nice to look back on these pictures when he's older. I have better quality shots on my computer, but as we have established, I'm updating from my phone so those will be used for now!

4 months is creeping up in 5 days! I just love looking at these and seeing just how much he's grown in so little time. 

Isn't he just the best?!! 

See you soon friends! 

It's a.....

So I know I am late for this but the past four weeks have been hectic to say the least. I guess I was supposed to update as of 40 weeks but I never made it there! I would have been 40 weeks pregnant as of Monday November 10th but someone decided to show up early. Not that I minded one bit, I was really for it!


So I have a lot to say about our experience and how labor and delivery went, I have even more to say about how the past four weeks went but I am currently sitting with a baby strapped to me just waiting to start crying because its almost time to eat. So I am just gonna say that its a boy!!!! We are overjoyed!

Say hi to our little man:  Miles Francis Marcil Peer, born at 2:06 am on November 7th!

more to come soon!!

( i don't know how all those other blogging moms do it!!)

38 weeks... still pregnant!

I guess I should not be surprise as this baby is my first but I am so done being pregnant.

I never thought I would say this but i'm so uncomfortable. I just want to sleep on my back and not be in pain all night long. Everyone says I should take the time I have left to catch up on sleep but sleeping is too painful. In the morning after Aaron is gone to work, I do manage to get a bit more sleep but it never lasts very long.

Baby has been having a lot of hiccoughs and it is super annoying because my entire belly will shake and i'll feel it in my hip bones. The heartburn is an all day event too! I have a routine of Gaviscon and Pepcid!

I have almost all together given up putting my own socks on because when I bend over it feels like i'm gonna pass out from the lack of air! Thank goodness Aaron is a good sport and helps me with clothes!

So this week is Halloween, this might be the first year in many years that I did not spend an incredible amount of time on crafting myself a costume... my costume this year is "Incredibly pregnant girl!" and I could not care less... I'm happy to sit here and do nothing, but hey, if you feel like bringing me some of your kids' candy I will not oppose!

So this week me got our Stroller!!! I'm so excited, I just got the call that it's in store and I hope Aaron got my text to go pick it up after work!!! Here's the stroller we chose.

And thank goodness for credit card point and gift cards. We managed to pay almost all of it with gift cards I ordered with my credit card point and gift cards we got from my coworkers! I was a splurge but we really fell in love with it.

So last week I was all about getting stuff done and ready for the baby's arrival. I scrubbed the house and got our bags ready. I made myself nursing tanks and did some reorganization. But this week, so far, I haven't done much. I don't feel very motivated because I'm just to lazy and the couch beckons me. I think it might also have to do with the fact that i'm just about done getting ready. I also never thought I would say this but at some point, you have to stop and just realize that there is only so much you can do! I mean I do have normal house chores to do... like the vacuum right now is screaming that it needs out, but again, laziness wins! And I need to sanitize my bottles, but I was told to wait a bit since that only lasts for a little bit and this baby is showing no signs of coming in the next few days. That might end up being a job for a helper!

My next big project is creating our thank you cards /birth announcement cards for everyone who attended the baby shower!

But not today... updating this blog is my project for today! So here's the 37 and 38 week picture updates!

Yes I know I look like i'm wearing the same thing but I swear the pants are the not the same and I totally did laundry in between the pictures... I just don't have too many shirts left that actually cover the entire bump! 

The final stretch... and i'm not talking about my belly!

I have finally reached 36 weeks, technically next week as of Monday I will be full term. And it could not come soon enough!

I've been trying to be all brave and like this pregnancy is a piece of cake, but pregnancy is no joke! I've been getting a lot of ''aren't you sick of it yet'' comments and i'm all like ''NO this is my precious baby growing inside my belly and I care for it and love it so I want it to stay in there to get as healthy as possible and blah blah blah'' Bleuh! Now i'm like ''Come out already!!!!!!!!!''

These past few weeks have been so hard on my body. Yes I want baby to be healthy and full grown and all, but as of Monday baby is good to go... i'm okay with that! The pain and pressure on my body is just so much to take. Between the constant heartburn/acid reflux, the back pain and the freaking butt pain, I don't know what to do with myself anymore. You would think sleeping would be my reprieve, but don't fool yourself, it's the worst! Laying down brings acid up my esophagus, laying on my back is a big no-no because it pulls on my belly muscles and laying on my sides causes butt muscles pain after about an hour, then I switch sides and it's the other side that hurts until both side are so sore that I have to get up or sleep sitting up which in turn gives me a sore neck upon waking.... hmm yeah! I'm complaining, i'm allowed! 

By far, everyone was right in saying that the second trimester is the best. Yes you kinda just look fat and people aren't sure if you are indeed pregnant, as opposed to now where I feel stared at EVERYWHERE I go, but you are so much more comfortable, no morning sickness and no all over body pain, just the joy of the first few kicks and the overall feeling of delight!  Oh second trimester, how i miss thee! But... I figure, i'm much closer to having my baby now than I am from the second trimester, so I just have to keep forging ahead! Baby will be here in no time, I try to tell myself! And I absolutely can not wait for that! Except.... now i'm starting to get scared shitless of actually giving birth! 

So enough of that, I bet you are all dying to know what I do with my time, right?!! Well this past two weeks we have managed to finish setting up the baby's room. The only remaining bit is making the crib skirt. I was debating making one, since now I will have time on my hands, because yes, I only have work until the 17th of October, I decided to take on this project. I don't want to start until i'm actually off work because, what else am I going to do right?! So I washed some clothes, still have more to wash because I keep buying more. We set up all the art in the room and it looks fantastic!! I also went and bought about 3/4 of our needed cloth diapers. They are so freaking cute!!! I then spent three evenings doing load after load of laundry to get them ready for baby! They are now stored and ready for use. We will be going to purchase the remainder this weekend. There was a sale last week that I just could not pass up but that was a whole lot of money, so we split the purchase into two trips. I also ordered a bunch of gift cards for Toys R Us with my points from my credit card. We will use those to offset the cost of our stroller, which I am uber excited to go buy, if those cards can just arrive already! 

Just look at those cute diapers!!! 

I was going to wait until the crib skirt was done to do a room reveal but I really want to post these pictures so i'll let you imagine there is one... and after looking at these pictures, i'm not hating the look without the skirt. We'll see.... So here is baby's room! I am soooo happy with how it turned out! It is not too masculine or feminine and so so cute! A lot of DIY went into making this room an I am so proud!

As you enter the room...

So without a skirt it still looks nice... and no bumpers to prevent SIDS and yes that Sleep Sheep is coming out of there for the same reason, but baby will sleep in the little bassinet in our room to begin with.

Our gliding chair with the Ikea cushion and the foot stool that Aaron so brilliantly recovered!

We had to flip it upside down, used like 5 medical books to weigh down the cushion and i sat on that pile to smooch everything down to make sure the fabric was all tight! 

More Ikea stuff obviously!

I made this little tassel garland.

I made this mobile too!

The elephant lamp has been my lamp since i was a child, so happy baby can enjoy it too!

My stuffed animals from my younger days that I get to pass on to my child! 

A large portion of  our diapers, all clean and ready to go!

Baby already has a closet full of clothes! and room to grow! 

So anyway, here's me at 35 and 36 weeks. Yes this is why I get stared at all the time. I'm huge!

So Aaron and I wanted some nice pictures of us during this pregnancy but we did not want to spend money on a professional shoot as we are already spending so much on baby gear and we want professional newborn shots.. which reminds me, I must contact the photographer!!! So instead we went off in Gatineau Park, camera in hand... half charged, not smart... and took a few shots. Yes just a few because the camera died. We still managed to get a few good ones... We really just wanted the two of us in at least one or two pictures, that's what we got.

Showered with love!

Only 6 more weeks to go! Crazy I know!

So in the past two weeks a lot has happened. We have finally gotten ourselves into gear and started buying things and getting things going for the baby's room.

This past weekend Robear was moved to the living room to her new bunny condo. She seems quite happy with it and cleaning it up is a breeze. She spends a lot of time roaming around and so far has been a good bunny!

This has allowed us to set up the baby's room and I am so excited about it!  Last night Aaron and I set up the crib and the bookshelf and decide where each piece of furniture is going to go. It looks quite adorable! Now we have to set up the art work, find a few more items like a laundry pail, a garbage and a few accent pieces. We also need to arrange the closet so that the room is used efficiently. We have to wash all of the clothes and put away all the wonderful presents we got from our baby shower and the other items we bought. We still have a fair amount of items to buy, like all of our diapers but I am starting to feel more prepared!

Talking about the baby shower... it was a whole lot of fun! We got so many wonderful presents! Baby is so loved! Just for fun, yesterday after setting up the crib, I arranged the items we got in our baby shower and the items we bought with gift cards we received and it was overwhelming the amount of stuff that we got! I could not fit everything in the crib! Have a look! Oh and that's not all, with the gifts we also go the baby's car seat, which is already in the car and a few more things that did not make it into the pictures!

Look at this proud papa to be! 

So aside from presents, here is what is happening with the belly! Baby is still upside down and kicking my ribs like crazy! I'm feeling a lot of rolling around and sudden jabs and kicks; and a whole lot more hiccoughing. We had our final prenatal class, the birthing class and although questions were answered, I still don't feel prepared. I am finally starting to realize the reality of giving birth and yeah, that stuff is scary! Thankfully, we had an ultrasound to check where the placenta is and it is out of the way and great news, for all of you who thought I had a huge baby... baby is right in the appropriate percentile at around 5 pounds. Which means that so far, baby will be average weight since at this point baby gains about half a pound a week. In 6 weeks that would make baby around 8 pounds, I can live with that! Aaron got to be at the ultrasound and he was very happy about it. It was his first time attending the ultrasound and although we could not see much because baby is so squished in there, we did see a profile, big strong bones, the heart beating and we even saw baby breathing! How cool! Everything looked good!

Here is my belly at 33 and 34 weeks.

Our little house is coming together to greet this new member of our family. Just when we think we have thought of everything more things pop into mind, so even thought it's getting there, I still feel that we have a ways to go. But I'm not worried, I know baby will have everything he or she needs, Aaron and I... and Robear!

Someone flipped!

So i don't know when it happened, but the midwife says the baby is head down! Yay!

And at 32 weeks, i now realize that we are getting so close to having a cute little one at home. I stop once in a while and just have to say it out loud, it seems surreal. I've been feeling very heavy! My back is killing me lately, most likely because I'm sleeping in a weird position. The Braxton Hicks contractions are happening more often. It's hard to describe the feeling but one thing is for sure, that belly gets rock hard! The baby's movements are turning more into rolls than kicks. I still get kicks once in a while but i see and feel a whole lot more belly shifting from one side to the next. It can get uncomfortable. And since the baby is now head down, my bladder has been turned into a punching bag!

The appointment with the midwife this past sunday was great! I got my gestational diabetes results and they were all great. The heartbeat was good at 142 and Aaron got to feel the baby's bum and head! The midwife thinks the baby's back is facing my left side, which would make sense since i mostly get kicks on my right side.

Also, ice cream... that is all!!!

Here's the 31 and 32 weeks picture:

Bunny wanted to be part of this one... not really, we made her be part of it but i'm sure she is happy about it now!

We now have a dresser and a book shelf for the room, which means we have all of our furniture. We decided to wait on getting that cart i liked so much. We'll get all the furniture set-up the way we like it and if we feel we need it, we'll go back for it. We got lucky, once again, at Ikea. We managed to find the dresser we wanted in the as-is section. We got 20$ off on it. It was completely fine, the packaging was too broken for them to sell it so they had to build it and sell it as-is. Great for us! We had to take it a bit apart in the store to get it home, but it was a breeze getting it built up again. Aaron is almost done with the bunny's new house so she will be moved soon. Crafting is coming along nicely as well. I finished making the mobile today!!! I'm keeping it a secret until the room is all ready.

It's our baby shower this weekend and we are getting super excited so see all of our friends and family... and i'm so excited for the food!