Waiting ...

But while I wait for Aaron to know if he can come home to stay this week or not... 

I can celebrate my 20 WEEKS OF PREGNANCY!!!!!

I am officially, today, 20 weeks pregnant and it feels amazing! My little one is moving in there and I can feel baby throughout the day, it's not constant yet but it's coming! I don't feel like I have gained much weight, but I thinks it's coming. As baby starts to put on some fat, I think I will start noticing... as long as it's mostly baby and not me over indulging in cravings, I think we're good!

I don't have much to add, and normally under such circumstances I would wait to have two weeks to update you all, but it's a benchmark week, it's the halfway point! I can't believe I am already here. It seems like the past few weeks flew by. So the little amount of preparation I have done in those first 20 weeks really needs to double or triple in these coming 20 weeks, otherwise we will never be ready.

So here's what I look like, halfway in my pregnancy!

Oh I guess I do have a bit of a nursery update. I found a cushion for my chair that will work and have me do no work for it, except shopping at IKEA! (which I love, let's be honest!) We're going to use the cushion from the Poang chairs, which you can buy separately. We tried it and it works great! Those cushions are really not expensive and they have a nice soft white/cream color which will look great accented with a colorful pillow my grandma is making me.  Creative problem solving! Yay me! 

I have a few more updates but i'm waiting on official confirmation to talk about it, let's say it's about our trip and moving... i'll just say it's looking good.

Good stuff!

Oh and just for kicks, heres a progression of the preggo belly. Why not!

I can't wait to see the difference from week 4 to week 40...

Well this is getting pretty real...

I can't believe I'm already 19 weeks pregnant. Sorry I skipped a week again, but I have more to say now!

It feels like only yesterday I found out I was pregnant... and for some reason 20 weeks seemed so far away and now it's almost here! And this is where it gets real... this baby is kicking my insides like crazy!!! I'm sure it seems crazy now and it'll seem like a joke in a few weeks but for now, it's mind blowing.

So in the past two weeks I have had the chance to see my belly get a bit bigger and harder and I started to feel way more that just "is this gas or what" flutters. Today I even had a kick that had me wincing... must have gotten me in a soft spot, yet again, everything inside there must be more or less soft. According to my mother in law, my husband was a wild child in the womb, I wonder if this baby will be anything like him.

I have started to think more and more about how he or she can hear me. I find myself singing in the car, as per usual, sometimes way too loud and hoping he or she likes my crazy singing because it's only the beginning of what he or she will have to endure. Okay.. so he or she will get long after a while, i'll just say baby.

Last weekend Aaron and I went shopping with my grandmother to find the colors she will use to make us a baby quilt. She offered to make us an entire bedding set, because she is just that awesome, but since we don't know if baby will be a boy or a girl and we wanted something simple and modern, we went with just a quilt and a matching pillow for the rocking chair. Speaking of rocking chair, Aaron's family has one that has been passed down. He wants to use it for the room. I like it but it's missing a cushion. If anyone knows a great way to DIY something like THIS (below) over a wooden rocker/glider I would be thrilled to have some advice.

This one seems complicated but like it because it looks just like the modern chair I want but can't afford. I also like it because of the cushions cover the sharp edges. I'm afraid baby will bump into it and get hurt.  ( I should probably post the link to these blog posts so I don't get sued... oops I found these images on the Google image search sorry!)

And this one, well it's way more my effort level let's just say. The look of the two big cushions on the chair is great and modern, which is what we are going for. The only thing is, Aaron would have to allow me to paint it, which I don't know if he would be okay with. I mean it's solid wood so it can be refinished... but you know. 

So that's my dilemma with the chair. The colors we chose for the quilt are super cute and will go great with our vision of the room. Now we just have to move to start prepping it. And we are way excited to move not only for the bigger space and being able to finally start planning the baby room and making it happen, but also because my crazy neighbors are, well, effing crazy! They actually scare me. I don't feel comfortable living here anymore so we are actively searching for a new place and I kept finding great places but our lease isn't up for a few months. If it wasn't for the crazy neighbors, we would tough it out and move when our lease is done and hope to find a nice place, but with their nonsense barging up the stairs to scream at me for no apparent reason. I want to get the F out of here. I actually get stressed about leaving my apartment because I fear running into them in the hallway. I have made attempts to speak to my landlord, she has yet to reply to me. I can tell you I am less than impress with the way the landlord has been taking care of her business. And I won't be afraid to tell her when she asks me why we want to move so bad! Ugghhh! Sorry... had to vent!

Aside from all the crazies... our travel plans are pretty much set in stone. Well they were a while ago but I'm just finalizing the last few bookings. I already feel much better and less stressed since we got a few things sorted out. I feel like I have made progress! I always feel that way when a bunch of stuff gets scratched off the list! Let's just hope there's no issue with Aaron getting the time off. I mean, it's hard enough planning a honeymoon but when you have no means of asking for time off, I don't know how you're supposed to do. We had to just take a chance, what with me being pregnant an all, it's not like we could put it off it very much longer. So we are getting cancellation insurance, but I would be devastated is it was to be shut down. Aaron seems pretty confident... but he's been pretty confident about other things in the past relating to his military career and those things have not turned out like we had hoped. We are crossing our fingers and I am attempting to put it out of my head since it only stresses me more! 

Other things that needed doing are getting done, like the date, time and place for the baby shower has been selected. I have finalized my invitations and we have created our registry. I'm so excited! And yet more things keep popping into my head that need doing like... I need a doctor for my baby!!! Someone, somewhere must have a doctor for me... if you know of one taking patients, general practitioner or pediatrician send the info my way. I've been on the waiting list for what seems like forever. I don't care if I don't have one myself, but baby needs a doctor! 

Oh almost forgot, here are my 18 and 19 weeks preggo shots!

Yes I misspelled potato.. I was thinking patate, sorry I'm french what can I say! And no, I can't draw a sweet potato, some of these fruit comparisons are crazy!

In even more exciting news, Aaron is on his last week of training. OMG I am so happy! I'm super emotional about it too. I had to tell him to leave on sunday because I could no longer stand lounging with him when I knew he had to leave and I would not get to talk to him for the entire week and most likely wont get to see him this weekend. BUT next week is graduation and let's all cross our fingers that he gets to come home for my big ultrasound on the 26th! I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am about having him home and finally spending this pregnancy together. It's been a long time coming!  

This week should go by quickly... let's hope! 

What an adventure!

SO sorry I didn't update you guys last week, so i'll do a double update this week. I was just too tired (too lazy really) last week to do very much.

So first up, i'm still feeling great, physically, i'll get to mentally in a bit. I feel like my belly is a bit bigger but it's still at the "i ate too many nachos" state. I weighed myself last week and I haven't gained any weight. In reality I have lost a bit since my first appointment in March, which the nurse and midwife both said was okay for me since I started out a bit overweight. As long as it's not because I am not eating or vomit too much, fortunately I am not! It's funny though because that's the first question everyone asks me when they call to get news or anything. I guess some women have it way worst for much longer. I consider myself fortunate.

I have developed constant heartburn though! I used to get heartburn periodically before getting pregnant and it seemed to have disappeared in the first trimester, but now it's back with a vengeance. I now carry Tums with me everywhere I go. I couldn't even tell you what foods cause it because it's basically everything. And things that used to give me heartburn, might not now. My acne seems to be a bit better, still not looking as fabulous as I did in the first trimester but it seems to be settling. My hair and nails are fantastic though!! So much so, I need a haircut badly now because it's growing like crazy!

So mentally speaking, I'm a bit of a wreck lately. I started getting worried about the baby at the very beginning of the pregnancy but suddenly last week it got really bad. I was trying to stay focused on the positive but I couldn't help but worry that something could go wrong. I mean you read these comments online and you might just end up thinking your baby will be born with pterodactyl wings because some lady said she dreamt about cats and her baby was really hairy when it was born and you are constantly dreaming about dinosaurs!! That's crazy scary! I kept asking Aaron to reassure me but he's away right now so that's hard. I started worrying a bit more I think because I keep reading about women starting to feel the baby at this point in their pregnancy and seeing photos of ladies with big bellies already. I have none of that. My belly is still small and I don't know that i'm really feeling much. Aaron had me convinced that what I was feeling was flutters from the baby, that lasted about two days until I just started thinking it was just gas!  He is most likely right but until I can say for sure "oh that's a kick" I don't think i'll believe it. So today I had to leave work because I started having an anxiety attack. I'm pretty prone to them because I worry about everything and anything anyway. That's just how I am. Some people seem to think it's funny but it's really nerve racking and it's like you just can't stop thinking about what is making you go crazy! So I started feeling like panicky and my heart was beating fast and I felt like vomiting. I couldn't shake the feeling so I just had to leave, I couldn't concentrate. All because my anxiety over the baby was just too high. I had to get a doppler. I did a quick stop at Babies R Us and they had one, a bit expensive for my taste, especially since Aaron and I had agreed to not spend our money on that, but it was well worth it. I'm happy to say I feel a hundred times better, I heard the baby's heartbeat at home, it's strong at around 147 bpm, as I calculated! Fiou! Now I can just rest from all this stress.

So now that all is good, here are the pictures from 16 weeks and 17 weeks.

I'm still stuck taking those pictures by myself because Aaron is still away, In fact he started is SQ last week and he is super busy. They take away his phone during the day, even if they didn't he would be way to busy to have time to text me or call me. It's funny because even though I am used to him being away by now, for this training session I feel very alone. It's like when he left for basic all over again. I think it's because I got so used to texting him throughout the day and talking to him after work when he was in Borden and then seeing him almost every weekend that now not talking to him as often has me really sad. I get all chocked up when he has to hang up! :( At least the light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter. We are almost there. In just a few weeks he graduates from his SQ, gets his graduation from is medic training and comes home! I was planning on going to his graduation but it seems like they might be changing details about it. It's probably gonna be all last minute and then i'll lose out on a great bus ticket deal! Thanks!

In other news, the trip planning is coming along. Gotta buy plane tickets, train tickets and book hotels, the tour is booked and confirmed! Let's hope the military doesn't cancel it out on us!  The move planning has started and the baby shower planning has started. So i'm in over my head basically! Yay! I am happy to say that there are great places for us to look at renting around our neighborhood, which we really like. Most have 3 bedrooms and are in our budget!!! Amazing! That means I don't have to give up some closet space for all of Aaron's military crap!!!

Well I think that's it for now. So much to do! I need a vacation from planning stuff, it's all I do lately!

Secret's out!

And it's a bit bittersweet. We were very excited to tell everyone about a big news, and so happy we did, but our little secret is not a little secret anymore. We did enjoy keeping it to ourselves for a little while. But now we're happy with all the love we are being given!

So one week has passed since I told you guys about this exciting news. I have my weekly update. My weeks turn on the monday so this is a bit late but monday was a day off so I enjoyed it instead of being on the internet.

I realized that although I told you guys how I came to be pregnant I didn't say how I found out.

Well basically, if you saw us at our wedding, you were also seeing baby because it turns out I was about 3 weeks pregnant. I found out 5 days after the wedding. After a few days of abnormally high temperatures for that part of my cycle, I woke up at 7 am, took my temperature, still high... okay pee on a stick time. I sat in my bathroom, in my PJS, my heart racing and the test facing away from me. Had my countdown going on my phone, 3 minutes, 2 minutes, 1 minute.... I check it and burst into tears! I'm balling, the ugliest cry you have ever seen. There are two lines!!!!! I decide to take a more expensive test and a digital. Two pink lines and the word YES + shows up! I can't contain my joy!

Now, it's 7 ish am, I text my best friend (even thought I once got mad at her for texting me this early, F it! I know this is a sucky thing to do, but I have to tell someone!) It's 7:15, I start putting together the surprise announcement I had planned for Aaron in the event this might be our month. I get it all wrapped, bring it to work, mail it express post. And wait... He doesn't get it the next day, not the one after and I suddenly realize, the mailing system on base is probably delaying it's arrival! Darn! Friday night, I'm driving back from work, talking with Aaron on my headset and we are discussing posting and the justifications we have for wanting to stay here and I can no longer wait and I just announce it to him while driving. I start crying again... not good for driving. He is overjoyed!

Fast forward to our announcement to our families. We were going to film it but I think my mom would have killed me. I was expecting screams, we got a melt in tears reaction, tears of joy of course... and then she told everyone at the restaurant! We then told my dad and stepmom, they were so excited and my dad got a bit teary. We managed to tell our siblings who all live somewhere far away by phone or skype. Aaron's parents were also very excited. Some had already guessed the news but like I told Aaron, nobody knew before we told them, they only suspected. I hate videos where people are like "i knew it!!" because it's like no you didn't really know... and just let people have their little moment! lol

So 15 weeks! I have been blessed so far with mild nausea and only puking three times. I think smells is what has gotten to me more. Now that I am in the second trimester, the nausea has gone away, knock on wood, but I am always starving and I got my heartburn back; and smells remain pretty strong and gross to me. I have some pretty smelly neighbors ... I can't wait to move! My complexion is not as nice as it was in the beginning of this pregnancy. My skin had completely clear up... now I'm seeing those pesky pimples make a reappearance. It's for a very good cause though, so I don't complain too much, just enough to annoy Aaron, sometimes!

Here's my weekly update pictures:

Exciting news this week, we booked our honeymoon trip. It's not completely booked but the process is started. I am not going to share the dates we are going on here as I'd rather stay on the safe side and tell you after. But I can say that we are going to ... drum roll... Spain and France! Thanks to all the lovely gifts we got at the wedding, we can afford an amazing vacation, and what great pregnancy pictures those amazing views will make! And don't worry, we haven't forgotten about you, we are very appreciative of all your gifts, your thank you cards will be a little special too... you'll see!

In other fun news, Aaron and I went to Ikea to look for nursery furniture and as always we made a pit stop at the As Is section and found an amazing deal! We had been eyeing a couch for a while and a month ago we saw the display model in the As Is section and really considered it. Well since we had no room, we decide to wait. Well this time around, the couch was still there but there was now also the chair that match that we also wanted. Well Aaron asked for a better discount and we got both at 50% off. A pull out couch and a chair for a steal! They are lovely! A bit of a splurge but we ended up saving the price of a brand new couch! Plus now we have room for people to stay over when the baby comes... if anyone is interested! We just had to wash the fabric and they were as good as new. Thanks to my dad everything got moved around in lightning speed. I couldn't help Aaron lift it so my dad came to the rescue, thanks Papa! Here is the website model:

 




That's all for now folks... I'll see ya next week!

First comes love, then comes marriage...

You know the rest. Well that's not exactly how that went for us. And we are overjoyed!

So yes, as some may know by now because that's all I can talk about, finally! We are indeed having a baby!! And boy is it ever nice to be able to say the words "I am pregnant"! We had been waiting for this for quite sometime and it is finally happening.

First some basic: our little one is due November 10th, 2014, so that makes me 14 weeks preggo. We will not find out the sex of the baby and we will be welcoming our little person with the help of a midwife. I currently meet her every 6 weeks and she is so calm and relaxed, I just know she will be of great help. Further down I will post a few fun pictures I have taken of this pregnancy so far! But first...

Now I said I would talk a bit about infertility when I posted the news on Facebook. I want to talk about this subject because I feel like there is misinformation that is being perpetuated regarding pregnancy and getting pregnant. I think that a lot of people think that getting pregnant is easy, but the reality is that for a large percentage of women it is not. It is not surprising that most doctors say to wait and try for a year before consulting. The reason is because it is normal to have to try a bit and not have it work on the first try. When it becomes alarming is when it is taking longer than a year when you are in your peak years.

Having Aaron be away for most of that time didn't help, but when the official 1 year of combined months of trying had gone by, I knew I had to check what was up. During all that time I had been doing research to help me pin point ovulation, we had Aaron tested to make sure his "friends" were great swimmers, I looked into natural supplements, I took my basal body temperature EVERY morning at 7 am sharp to chart my cycles (best thing I have ever done), I took prenatal vitamins, I changed my eating habits, I peed on countless ovulation predictor strips (they don't work, don't waste your money) and cried so many tears I couldn't even begin to count them. Throughout all that, I had good intentioned family members telling me to "just relax and it will happen" and others that were not aware we were trying were telling us things like "it's so easy, you just have to want to get pregnant". And how crushing was that. I know they meant well, but that is just another example of why people need to be better educated about pregnancy, we probably would have enjoyed our family gatherings more.. at the time, I hate to say it, but we dreaded them.

Now you don't necessarily have to wait a year if you know something is up. The problem with that is that you will meet a bunch of doctors that don't take the time to actually listen to you and just say "oh it hasn't been a full year yet, be patient!" This is what happened to me. Now I know my body pretty well and it doesn't take an expert to know that a menstrual cycle should not last over 60 days. Yet when I met the first doctor she sent me for regular blood work, nothing to do with hormones, and told me "everything looks great!". Hmm excuse me, I don't think so! I had to beg her to send me to a specialist. It took a month or two before I decided to check and see why I had not been called for an appointment with the specialist. All along she had sent my referral request to the wrong doctor and when it was sent back to her she simply did nothing with it. It's safe to say I will never go back to her clinic.

So a couple months went by, a few more crazy cycles and I finally met the specialist. What a great guy! He listened to me, he made me feel better about it and I think he knew I was on the verge of tears the entire meeting because he made me feel like it was all going to be okay! Surprisingly enough, that very same month, I had the most regular cycle I had ever had since going off of birth control a year and a half before. The following few cycles also were better. I was very excited about that. This meeting occurred in November 2013. By December I saw him again and he had my blood test results. He had my hormones checked, unlike that other idiotic doctor,  I mean even this doctor said she was quite useless. He told me how my blood test didn't show anything abnormal but they were tentatively diagnosing me with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome)... my heart sank. I knew about PCOS and what that meant. It does not mean you cannot have children, it just means, it might be more difficult for you. He told me that PCOS is not only diagnosed with hormone levels but it must be combined with a clinical diagnosis. To diagnose PCOS they look at things like abnormal cycles (ding! ding! ding!), extra weight, hair, etc. This, combined with an ultrasound to see if there are cysts on the ovaries, are the different ways to tell if a woman has it and to what degree. The doctor didn't feel I needed an ultrasound because I had only mentioned one ruptured cyst before and he thought my hormones were normal enough that if I did have PCOS is was most likely a mild form. Good and bad news.

He put me on ovulatory meds... not fun! I started them in January, and had three cycles worth. The following month Aaron and I decided to save them because he might not be able to make it home at the appropriate time. Well... he did! We decide to skip the medication and it still worked! I do have to say, I think it is thanks to a little something called pre-seed. Look it up it you are trying... it's what made the difference for us in my opinion. Other brands don't work, don't waste your money.

And here we are now! I wanted to share this because I think it is important that these things be discussed. I think that a pregnancy should never be taken for granted. If you are super fertile that's awesome but women should remember that it is not necessarily the norm. It sucks to find that out when you are so wanting a baby and seeing pregnant women makes you jealous and sad. That should never be the reaction to seeing a pregnancy. It's such a beautiful thing. I feel amazed everyday when I speak to other pregnant women who have gone through similar and thougher infertility issues. I feel proud for them, for us, for keeping their heads held high and knowing that these experiences only made them stronger and thankful for this new life growing inside them. Infertility is still a shameful subject for many women who feel they are not normal or not good enough... let's break that, let's embrace and help these women speak up!

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Okay so maybe that was a little long for some of you... here's a treat! Please keep in mind I was going through the woes of the first trimester in these pictures... not the best look! And my weeks turn on the monday, Aaron is not here to take the pictures, its just me, my camera and my tripod :(

     

     

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'll try to update this weekly!

P.S. if anyone has questions about anything I talked about feel free to message me. And yes you can expect to read a whole lot more on this blog regarding this pregnancy... just wait until I start talking about cloth diapers, natural labor and breastfeeding. I have always been passionate about these subjects and now I get to talk about them! Yay!