Wednesday, May 14, 2014

First comes love, then comes marriage...

You know the rest. Well that's not exactly how that went for us. And we are overjoyed!

So yes, as some may know by now because that's all I can talk about, finally! We are indeed having a baby!! And boy is it ever nice to be able to say the words "I am pregnant"! We had been waiting for this for quite sometime and it is finally happening.

First some basic: our little one is due November 10th, 2014, so that makes me 14 weeks preggo. We will not find out the sex of the baby and we will be welcoming our little person with the help of a midwife. I currently meet her every 6 weeks and she is so calm and relaxed, I just know she will be of great help. Further down I will post a few fun pictures I have taken of this pregnancy so far! But first...

Now I said I would talk a bit about infertility when I posted the news on Facebook. I want to talk about this subject because I feel like there is misinformation that is being perpetuated regarding pregnancy and getting pregnant. I think that a lot of people think that getting pregnant is easy, but the reality is that for a large percentage of women it is not. It is not surprising that most doctors say to wait and try for a year before consulting. The reason is because it is normal to have to try a bit and not have it work on the first try. When it becomes alarming is when it is taking longer than a year when you are in your peak years.

Having Aaron be away for most of that time didn't help, but when the official 1 year of combined months of trying had gone by, I knew I had to check what was up. During all that time I had been doing research to help me pin point ovulation, we had Aaron tested to make sure his "friends" were great swimmers, I looked into natural supplements, I took my basal body temperature EVERY morning at 7 am sharp to chart my cycles (best thing I have ever done), I took prenatal vitamins, I changed my eating habits, I peed on countless ovulation predictor strips (they don't work, don't waste your money) and cried so many tears I couldn't even begin to count them. Throughout all that, I had good intentioned family members telling me to "just relax and it will happen" and others that were not aware we were trying were telling us things like "it's so easy, you just have to want to get pregnant". And how crushing was that. I know they meant well, but that is just another example of why people need to be better educated about pregnancy, we probably would have enjoyed our family gatherings more.. at the time, I hate to say it, but we dreaded them.

Now you don't necessarily have to wait a year if you know something is up. The problem with that is that you will meet a bunch of doctors that don't take the time to actually listen to you and just say "oh it hasn't been a full year yet, be patient!" This is what happened to me. Now I know my body pretty well and it doesn't take an expert to know that a menstrual cycle should not last over 60 days. Yet when I met the first doctor she sent me for regular blood work, nothing to do with hormones, and told me "everything looks great!". Hmm excuse me, I don't think so! I had to beg her to send me to a specialist. It took a month or two before I decided to check and see why I had not been called for an appointment with the specialist. All along she had sent my referral request to the wrong doctor and when it was sent back to her she simply did nothing with it. It's safe to say I will never go back to her clinic.

So a couple months went by, a few more crazy cycles and I finally met the specialist. What a great guy! He listened to me, he made me feel better about it and I think he knew I was on the verge of tears the entire meeting because he made me feel like it was all going to be okay! Surprisingly enough, that very same month, I had the most regular cycle I had ever had since going off of birth control a year and a half before. The following few cycles also were better. I was very excited about that. This meeting occurred in November 2013. By December I saw him again and he had my blood test results. He had my hormones checked, unlike that other idiotic doctor,  I mean even this doctor said she was quite useless. He told me how my blood test didn't show anything abnormal but they were tentatively diagnosing me with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome)... my heart sank. I knew about PCOS and what that meant. It does not mean you cannot have children, it just means, it might be more difficult for you. He told me that PCOS is not only diagnosed with hormone levels but it must be combined with a clinical diagnosis. To diagnose PCOS they look at things like abnormal cycles (ding! ding! ding!), extra weight, hair, etc. This, combined with an ultrasound to see if there are cysts on the ovaries, are the different ways to tell if a woman has it and to what degree. The doctor didn't feel I needed an ultrasound because I had only mentioned one ruptured cyst before and he thought my hormones were normal enough that if I did have PCOS is was most likely a mild form. Good and bad news.

He put me on ovulatory meds... not fun! I started them in January, and had three cycles worth. The following month Aaron and I decided to save them because he might not be able to make it home at the appropriate time. Well... he did! We decide to skip the medication and it still worked! I do have to say, I think it is thanks to a little something called pre-seed. Look it up it you are trying... it's what made the difference for us in my opinion. Other brands don't work, don't waste your money.

And here we are now! I wanted to share this because I think it is important that these things be discussed. I think that a pregnancy should never be taken for granted. If you are super fertile that's awesome but women should remember that it is not necessarily the norm. It sucks to find that out when you are so wanting a baby and seeing pregnant women makes you jealous and sad. That should never be the reaction to seeing a pregnancy. It's such a beautiful thing. I feel amazed everyday when I speak to other pregnant women who have gone through similar and thougher infertility issues. I feel proud for them, for us, for keeping their heads held high and knowing that these experiences only made them stronger and thankful for this new life growing inside them. Infertility is still a shameful subject for many women who feel they are not normal or not good enough... let's break that, let's embrace and help these women speak up!

Okay so maybe that was a little long for some of you... here's a treat! Please keep in mind I was going through the woes of the first trimester in these pictures... not the best look! And my weeks turn on the monday, Aaron is not here to take the pictures, its just me, my camera and my tripod :(








I'll try to update this weekly!

P.S. if anyone has questions about anything I talked about feel free to message me. And yes you can expect to read a whole lot more on this blog regarding this pregnancy... just wait until I start talking about cloth diapers, natural labor and breastfeeding. I have always been passionate about these subjects and now I get to talk about them! Yay!


  1. I really enjoyed reading this post!! Well written and well said. Hopefully it will help someone else out there struggling with similar issues.
    I am so excited that you have chosen to have a midwife. I soooo loved having a midwife. It made the whole experience so much more personal and less intimidating. If you need help with anything, just let me know. Its getting more and more interesting.
    BTW I have a little baby thing to give to you which belonged to Aaron's dad's grandmother.