Friday, June 27, 2014

I don't remember how this life came to be...

I was working at a ski hill. And I met a man that also worked there. And slowly but surely, I fell in love.

Fast forward to the summer, he left to go work three hours away. We started dating in March, by June he was leaving and only returned at the end of August. I thought waiting for him was going to be so hard, I had no idea what waiting was. In the few months that preceded his leaving, we talked about traveling upon his return. We talked briefly about moving to a different city to pursue a job at a bigger, better ski hill in the west. I decide that was not a good plan for me. I told him I could not wait all summer for him to come home for a month to leave again for the winter. I had no idea just how much waiting I was actually willing to do for him. In the end we traveled and he stayed home. We moved in together.

He worked the entire winter in town. Odd jobs that he didn't like so much.

At some point, I can't remember when this all happened, papers started to get filled out to join the Navy. I know we must have talked about it, but we never sat down and decided together if it was a good plan for our life. I was simply fully on board with the idea. I encouraged him. I made sure he had his papers all done in time and I nagged him for news.

The summer came and he got his acceptance letter. He would officially join the military and be trained to become a medic. And I was proud of him. We soon learnt that he would have to go away to study. The selected town was Moncton. His initial training was to be 11 months. He would be 1174 kilometers away. 11hours and 45 minutes. In a different time zone. And I had no idea what waiting was.

He was enrolled at the end of August. He left 3 days later. He packed all of his things and we had a tearful goodbye. One of too many to count.

We tried to speak to each other everyday. I was afraid we would drift apart. He studied hard into long nights and made time to talk on the phone, via text message, by email, over Skype...

I moved, with the rest of his belongings, into our apartment two months after he left. We would have a place to call home when he would visit. I was the first to go see him. I flew out and spent a long weekend. He greeted me with flowers. Over the next few months, we started trying to have a baby. He visited when he could.

At Christmas time, he came home for about two weeks. He proposed to me. Over the next few months, we went back and forth visiting each other.

His 11 months of training ended in July. My 11 months of waiting ended. I went to his graduation. We drove home together and had three weeks to spend together before he would leave for Basic Training. We got married at the court house. And had another tearful goodbye.

His 4 months of training started, and my 4 months of waiting started. We spoke when we could, which was not nearly enough. I was the proudest woman that ever existed the day I saw my husband graduate from basic military training.

After his training he was put on waiting and he got to come home for 3 weeks for Christmas. He started his next training in January. In February I finally got pregnant! We celebrated our wedding on March 1st. He arrived home on February 28th and left on March 2nd to go back to training.

Since then he has been training and visiting as much as possible. Most weekends after the wedding we got to see each other.

And now, almost two years after he left, my husband is coming home... for good! For now... I now know what waiting is.

I am beyond excited. There are no words to describe the feeling. I am overjoyed to be able to finally share this pregnancy with him. I am fearful of the adjustment period. I am happy to finally have my partner back. But most of all I am proud of us, of myself. I am proud of us for sticking it out during the hard times, during the interrupted phone calls, during the weeks away in the field. I used to think I was a strong willed, independent woman who could accomplish what she set her mind to, without a man to guide her along. I now know that I am.

I have learnt about the struggles of being a military wife. And I am proud to know that I am one.
I didn't choose this life, I simply fell in love and I let this love guide me through it. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

Welcome home my love! I have missed you more than I ever thought I could miss someone.

Now... would you please take the trash out?

Monday, June 23, 2014

Waiting ...

But while I wait for Aaron to know if he can come home to stay this week or not... 

I can celebrate my 20 WEEKS OF PREGNANCY!!!!!

I am officially, today, 20 weeks pregnant and it feels amazing! My little one is moving in there and I can feel baby throughout the day, it's not constant yet but it's coming! I don't feel like I have gained much weight, but I thinks it's coming. As baby starts to put on some fat, I think I will start noticing... as long as it's mostly baby and not me over indulging in cravings, I think we're good!

I don't have much to add, and normally under such circumstances I would wait to have two weeks to update you all, but it's a benchmark week, it's the halfway point! I can't believe I am already here. It seems like the past few weeks flew by. So the little amount of preparation I have done in those first 20 weeks really needs to double or triple in these coming 20 weeks, otherwise we will never be ready.

So here's what I look like, halfway in my pregnancy!

Oh I guess I do have a bit of a nursery update. I found a cushion for my chair that will work and have me do no work for it, except shopping at IKEA! (which I love, let's be honest!) We're going to use the cushion from the Poang chairs, which you can buy separately. We tried it and it works great! Those cushions are really not expensive and they have a nice soft white/cream color which will look great accented with a colorful pillow my grandma is making me.  Creative problem solving! Yay me! 

I have a few more updates but i'm waiting on official confirmation to talk about it, let's say it's about our trip and moving... i'll just say it's looking good.

Good stuff!

Oh and just for kicks, heres a progression of the preggo belly. Why not!

I can't wait to see the difference from week 4 to week 40...

Monday, June 16, 2014

Well this is getting pretty real...

I can't believe I'm already 19 weeks pregnant. Sorry I skipped a week again, but I have more to say now!

It feels like only yesterday I found out I was pregnant... and for some reason 20 weeks seemed so far away and now it's almost here! And this is where it gets real... this baby is kicking my insides like crazy!!! I'm sure it seems crazy now and it'll seem like a joke in a few weeks but for now, it's mind blowing.

So in the past two weeks I have had the chance to see my belly get a bit bigger and harder and I started to feel way more that just "is this gas or what" flutters. Today I even had a kick that had me wincing... must have gotten me in a soft spot, yet again, everything inside there must be more or less soft. According to my mother in law, my husband was a wild child in the womb, I wonder if this baby will be anything like him.

I have started to think more and more about how he or she can hear me. I find myself singing in the car, as per usual, sometimes way too loud and hoping he or she likes my crazy singing because it's only the beginning of what he or she will have to endure. Okay.. so he or she will get long after a while, i'll just say baby.

Last weekend Aaron and I went shopping with my grandmother to find the colors she will use to make us a baby quilt. She offered to make us an entire bedding set, because she is just that awesome, but since we don't know if baby will be a boy or a girl and we wanted something simple and modern, we went with just a quilt and a matching pillow for the rocking chair. Speaking of rocking chair, Aaron's family has one that has been passed down. He wants to use it for the room. I like it but it's missing a cushion. If anyone knows a great way to DIY something like THIS (below) over a wooden rocker/glider I would be thrilled to have some advice.

This one seems complicated but like it because it looks just like the modern chair I want but can't afford. I also like it because of the cushions cover the sharp edges. I'm afraid baby will bump into it and get hurt.  ( I should probably post the link to these blog posts so I don't get sued... oops I found these images on the Google image search sorry!)

And this one, well it's way more my effort level let's just say. The look of the two big cushions on the chair is great and modern, which is what we are going for. The only thing is, Aaron would have to allow me to paint it, which I don't know if he would be okay with. I mean it's solid wood so it can be refinished... but you know. 

So that's my dilemma with the chair. The colors we chose for the quilt are super cute and will go great with our vision of the room. Now we just have to move to start prepping it. And we are way excited to move not only for the bigger space and being able to finally start planning the baby room and making it happen, but also because my crazy neighbors are, well, effing crazy! They actually scare me. I don't feel comfortable living here anymore so we are actively searching for a new place and I kept finding great places but our lease isn't up for a few months. If it wasn't for the crazy neighbors, we would tough it out and move when our lease is done and hope to find a nice place, but with their nonsense barging up the stairs to scream at me for no apparent reason. I want to get the F out of here. I actually get stressed about leaving my apartment because I fear running into them in the hallway. I have made attempts to speak to my landlord, she has yet to reply to me. I can tell you I am less than impress with the way the landlord has been taking care of her business. And I won't be afraid to tell her when she asks me why we want to move so bad! Ugghhh! Sorry... had to vent!

Aside from all the crazies... our travel plans are pretty much set in stone. Well they were a while ago but I'm just finalizing the last few bookings. I already feel much better and less stressed since we got a few things sorted out. I feel like I have made progress! I always feel that way when a bunch of stuff gets scratched off the list! Let's just hope there's no issue with Aaron getting the time off. I mean, it's hard enough planning a honeymoon but when you have no means of asking for time off, I don't know how you're supposed to do. We had to just take a chance, what with me being pregnant an all, it's not like we could put it off it very much longer. So we are getting cancellation insurance, but I would be devastated is it was to be shut down. Aaron seems pretty confident... but he's been pretty confident about other things in the past relating to his military career and those things have not turned out like we had hoped. We are crossing our fingers and I am attempting to put it out of my head since it only stresses me more! 

Other things that needed doing are getting done, like the date, time and place for the baby shower has been selected. I have finalized my invitations and we have created our registry. I'm so excited! And yet more things keep popping into my head that need doing like... I need a doctor for my baby!!! Someone, somewhere must have a doctor for me... if you know of one taking patients, general practitioner or pediatrician send the info my way. I've been on the waiting list for what seems like forever. I don't care if I don't have one myself, but baby needs a doctor! 

Oh almost forgot, here are my 18 and 19 weeks preggo shots!

Yes I misspelled potato.. I was thinking patate, sorry I'm french what can I say! And no, I can't draw a sweet potato, some of these fruit comparisons are crazy!

In even more exciting news, Aaron is on his last week of training. OMG I am so happy! I'm super emotional about it too. I had to tell him to leave on sunday because I could no longer stand lounging with him when I knew he had to leave and I would not get to talk to him for the entire week and most likely wont get to see him this weekend. BUT next week is graduation and let's all cross our fingers that he gets to come home for my big ultrasound on the 26th! I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am about having him home and finally spending this pregnancy together. It's been a long time coming!  

This week should go by quickly... let's hope! 

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

What an adventure!

SO sorry I didn't update you guys last week, so i'll do a double update this week. I was just too tired (too lazy really) last week to do very much.

So first up, i'm still feeling great, physically, i'll get to mentally in a bit. I feel like my belly is a bit bigger but it's still at the "i ate too many nachos" state. I weighed myself last week and I haven't gained any weight. In reality I have lost a bit since my first appointment in March, which the nurse and midwife both said was okay for me since I started out a bit overweight. As long as it's not because I am not eating or vomit too much, fortunately I am not! It's funny though because that's the first question everyone asks me when they call to get news or anything. I guess some women have it way worst for much longer. I consider myself fortunate.

I have developed constant heartburn though! I used to get heartburn periodically before getting pregnant and it seemed to have disappeared in the first trimester, but now it's back with a vengeance. I now carry Tums with me everywhere I go. I couldn't even tell you what foods cause it because it's basically everything. And things that used to give me heartburn, might not now. My acne seems to be a bit better, still not looking as fabulous as I did in the first trimester but it seems to be settling. My hair and nails are fantastic though!! So much so, I need a haircut badly now because it's growing like crazy!

So mentally speaking, I'm a bit of a wreck lately. I started getting worried about the baby at the very beginning of the pregnancy but suddenly last week it got really bad. I was trying to stay focused on the positive but I couldn't help but worry that something could go wrong. I mean you read these comments online and you might just end up thinking your baby will be born with pterodactyl wings because some lady said she dreamt about cats and her baby was really hairy when it was born and you are constantly dreaming about dinosaurs!! That's crazy scary! I kept asking Aaron to reassure me but he's away right now so that's hard. I started worrying a bit more I think because I keep reading about women starting to feel the baby at this point in their pregnancy and seeing photos of ladies with big bellies already. I have none of that. My belly is still small and I don't know that i'm really feeling much. Aaron had me convinced that what I was feeling was flutters from the baby, that lasted about two days until I just started thinking it was just gas!  He is most likely right but until I can say for sure "oh that's a kick" I don't think i'll believe it. So today I had to leave work because I started having an anxiety attack. I'm pretty prone to them because I worry about everything and anything anyway. That's just how I am. Some people seem to think it's funny but it's really nerve racking and it's like you just can't stop thinking about what is making you go crazy! So I started feeling like panicky and my heart was beating fast and I felt like vomiting. I couldn't shake the feeling so I just had to leave, I couldn't concentrate. All because my anxiety over the baby was just too high. I had to get a doppler. I did a quick stop at Babies R Us and they had one, a bit expensive for my taste, especially since Aaron and I had agreed to not spend our money on that, but it was well worth it. I'm happy to say I feel a hundred times better, I heard the baby's heartbeat at home, it's strong at around 147 bpm, as I calculated! Fiou! Now I can just rest from all this stress.

So now that all is good, here are the pictures from 16 weeks and 17 weeks.

I'm still stuck taking those pictures by myself because Aaron is still away, In fact he started is SQ last week and he is super busy. They take away his phone during the day, even if they didn't he would be way to busy to have time to text me or call me. It's funny because even though I am used to him being away by now, for this training session I feel very alone. It's like when he left for basic all over again. I think it's because I got so used to texting him throughout the day and talking to him after work when he was in Borden and then seeing him almost every weekend that now not talking to him as often has me really sad. I get all chocked up when he has to hang up! :( At least the light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter. We are almost there. In just a few weeks he graduates from his SQ, gets his graduation from is medic training and comes home! I was planning on going to his graduation but it seems like they might be changing details about it. It's probably gonna be all last minute and then i'll lose out on a great bus ticket deal! Thanks!

In other news, the trip planning is coming along. Gotta buy plane tickets, train tickets and book hotels, the tour is booked and confirmed! Let's hope the military doesn't cancel it out on us!  The move planning has started and the baby shower planning has started. So i'm in over my head basically! Yay! I am happy to say that there are great places for us to look at renting around our neighborhood, which we really like. Most have 3 bedrooms and are in our budget!!! Amazing! That means I don't have to give up some closet space for all of Aaron's military crap!!!

Well I think that's it for now. So much to do! I need a vacation from planning stuff, it's all I do lately!